Wednesday, March 19

eyes open

To anyone with half a brain/anyone who can read it's been pretty obvious that I've been in a funk lately. Not a real funk, just a temporary bogging down of my spirit.

Thing is, I'm too happy and optimistic to be funky for long. My brain is usually going a mile a minute, and the weirdest part about this funk is that my brain just stopped. Keep in mind I've got my senior midterms right now; stop-brain is not exactly the ideal mental state.

Sometime over the last week or so, while I wasn't looking, something happened. My brain started again. All the things I love that I had been ignoring (knitting, for one) I now have renewed interest in. As soon as I turn in my last paper on Thursday I'm going to pick up the needles and start making that yellow, orange, and white yarn into something special. And I'm going to clean my apartment. . . boy has that suffered this past month.

This morning I'm taking some time out to just be. No studying, no writing, no stress. I'm at my favorite local cafe, which is pictured here in the world's tiniest photo. What that photo doesn't show is how beautiful this mornining is. It's just cool enough to be crisp and the signature Berkeley fog is out in full force. I love this time of day and this weather, something about this weather and being at a cafe reminds me of New York City.

Speaking of places other than here, over the past couple of days I've started to realize that I can go anywhere; I can decide how exciting and exotic my life is. I'm kind of beginning to let the whole graduating college and getting a job thing sink in. Most people I know are expecting me to be terrified of this, but I actually love the idea of being able to decide where I go, what I do, and how I live my life. I'm kind of considering if I might want to go somewhere else, another state maybe, or even another country. I'm young! I'm smart! The options are endless, and right now that's exactly what I need to keep me going.

My love of knitting is making its way into my thoughts about a job. I'd love to find something to do that is related to knitting or textiles, but I just don't know what/where those jobs would be. My mom mentioned something to me a while ago about a music student of hers going to Europe to apprentice in textile design. How cool would something like that be?

As graduation approaches I'll keep thinking about the possibilities for my life. I've decided that I will do something great. . . I'm just not sure what that is yet.


On my list of great things to do is start/join an excellent knitting group. I went to one here (Berkeley) a few weeks ago and it just wasn't a great fit. I'm sure it was partially me--I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind that day. But I think it was also just not a great fit; I need to find some gals I mesh with. So if anyone reads this and lives in the area and wants to start a knitting group with me, lemme know.

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